How do you hook up with a really hot chick? This website is intended for Anti-Jokes, Not Dating Advice.

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What do u call a cripple Biv

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Q: Why was little Timmy afraid of clowns? A: The one at his birthday party killed his parents.

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What would Ronald Reagan say if he was alive today? Nice to meet you my name is Ronald Reagan

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How do you keep an idiot in suspense?

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A horse walks into a bar. The owner promptly calls a local farmer to let him know that his horse has escaped again.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Well, to tell you the truth, I think that the chick-fa-lea came first.

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Why couldn't Danny learn the alphabet? Because a man of forty was staring at him in a very peculiar way and Danny found it very difficult to concentrate.

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What did one traffic light say to the other? Nothing, as traffic lights are incapable of thought as they are not living.

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A dinosaur is walking down the street. He is soon confronted by a human. The human says to the dinosaur, "Hey, your a dinosaur." Which the dinosaur replies with, "Yes, yes i am." The dinosaur then stands there for a few seconds wondering why he is in the same time period as the human. And as to why a dinosaur would talk.

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a boy walks into a hospital ward, and procedes to break down into tears because his family died

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I always used bra`s so I guess you know, nice I guess. Can you please stop it? I like know I am telling but my mind wont like accept it, and I would just like to shut off the laptop, but I want to keep chatting with you for just a bit more.

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How many polish people does it take to change a light bulb? Just one. The polish are a civilized and prosperous country.

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Quarters look shiny, Brass beats Copper, Dish is better, So enjoy the hopper. DIrect TV, is forever alone. Kinda like you, when your on your phone!

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Relax and enjoy sugartits, you see, I left a last chance for you to shut down the function yourself, when you really want to end it sugartits, you can just read and focus on what I am calling you, sugartits, it really insulted you at first sugartits, but do you see it? Have a nice night sugartits, I mean I sleep like half a hour luckily because of hypnosis and the time control and you know stuff that sounds like its from Sonic or you sugartits. But I gotta go dear sugartits, you want to hypnosis to end, you make it happen by focusing on what I am calling you here.

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A Jew, Catholic, and a Mexican walk into a bar. The Jew leaves first for an unrelated reason.

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whats worse than the holocaust ? ms.brinkmann? noo close....a black guy trying toget a job.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? Cancer.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Gestapo.

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sky silverstein

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? She is a woman ... Who is blind, deaf and mute Therefore considered a danger to herself And those around her.

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What is the difference between a Camel And a Strawberry? A strawberry is red.

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Why did the boy fall out of his seat? He was being strangled with a piano wire.

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How do you kill a diabetic? Take away their insuline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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