If you pull a pin out of a grenade, is it possible to put it back? I need a quick answer for this question.

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Why didn't the little boy hear the ice cream truck? He was deaf.

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My neighour knocked on my door at 2.30am last night, can u believe it? 2.30am? How rude I thought. Luckily I was still up, playing drums.

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A man walks into the bathroom. He dumps cat shit all over the floor

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father ****s on his desk.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Why did the man commit suicide? Because all meaning in his life were gone.

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why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7-8-9

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What do a duck and a tricycle have in common? They both have wheels. Except for the duck.

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why shouldnt you throw a rock at a black person on a bike? Its probably your bike.

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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2 wales are at the bar one looks at the other and dose a wale call for 5 long minutes and the other one reply's "dude your drunk we got to go"

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A Stoner sees a bag of chips.

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Why didn't Superman save the people from 9/11? Because he was a quadriplegic.

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Once, there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end

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A morbidly overweight baby eats horse poop and dies a slow horrible death

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What do have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand? What you probably have is a lawyer on holiday with his children, allowing himself or herself to be buried in order to please said children.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at poems, nice tits.

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My mum is called Steve

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AARgh my name is AWsaing the nawant of the where of amzai Giant rabbit bunny

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why are there so many homeless asians with squinty eyes, they cant find their way back home

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stephen hawking walks into a bar...

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What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

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You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't divide by zero.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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