Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +6

My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How do you stop a black man from drowning? Through him a survival buoy

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Your momma is so fat that she could benefit from loosing a couple of pounds.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: How many cancer patients does it take to change a lightbulb? A: None, they are too weak to climb the ladder.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the baby die? Because I refused to feed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's worse than your console not switching on? A mutilated body.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A British man walks into a dentist's office.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

little miss muffit sat on her tuffit eating her curds and weigh along came a spider and sat down beside her and said hey whats in the bowl?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What goes down well with whiskey? Pedestrians

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is the difference between a bitch and your ex-girlfriend? First of all, they are two different types of mammals. Second, dogs don't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock knock who's there? faith

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I don't know about the rest of you, but I HATE funerals.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the guy go to the store? He really doesn't want you to know every detail of his life.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the black man get out of jail? He couldn't post his bond.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock knock Whos there Who Who who Don't stutter it was just a joke

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Mexican and a black man are in a car. Who's driving? The black man, because he was the designated driver for the night and was being helped by his good friend, Paco the Mexican, to quit his alcohol addiction. The AA meetings and rehab clininc were failing and he had lost his job. Jamaal, the black man, is now attending night school and holding down a part-time job at his local Baha Fresh. paco is very proud of him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's the worst part about eating a vegetable? Putting her back in the wheel chair.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Jay-Z

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Where do you8 find a dog with no legs? right where you left it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops