How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

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Does 2 + 2 = fish? No.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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Whats the sad thing about 4 black guys going over a cliff in a car? It was my car!

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whats funny about four dead horses in a park ? the horses are dead!

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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How does a Chinese person wear a contact lens? On a 45 degree angle

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Pickup line: Hey babe, do you work at Mcdonalds? Because I don't have a job, are you hiring?

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Your mother is so fat, she is dying due to obesity and it would be utterly disgusting to make fun of anyone in that situation.

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Why did the Salesman leave the leper colony? He had to wish his daughter a happy birthday.

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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How do you know if an elephant has been in your fridge? If it is laying in pieces around the crumbled wreckage of your house. [L]

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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Why couldn't the bartender sell alcoholic beverages? He got fired

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Why is five afraid of six? Because six seven eight. (Note: The language of numbers is Subject-Object-Verb, rather than Subject-Verb-Object like English.)

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Why shouldn't you try to pick up a live scorpion with your teeth? Because it could easily sting your face, or mouth.

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don't just stand there

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why would a man mistake a watermelon for AK-47? i dont know. The man probably has mental issues.

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What is black and white and red all over? A road killed zebra.

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Why did the baby cross the road? Because ti was stapled to the chicken.

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Once upon a time, your dog got hit by a car this morning

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Q:Why didn't the Mexican get out of the box? A:Because he liked it in the box.

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what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

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so a boy walks into a bar he was underage and escorted out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops