what do you call a black man that killed somebody? a murderer.

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I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. But it wasn't actually getting bigger, it was just getting closer. So I got hit in the face.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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Why didn't little Timmy see the bus right before it hit him? Because he was blind

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A Black guy and a Jewish guy walk into a bar. What does the black guy say to the Jew? "Hi".

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Whats worst than reading the 8th anti joke that ends with the Holocaust? The one where it ends with someone getting hit by a fridge for the 9th time.

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How do you piss off a gypsy? Curse at him

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What's Mackaulay Culkin's favorite salad dressing? Neverland Ranch.

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Two men walk into a bar. The first one says, "I'll have some H2O!" The second man says "I'll have some H2O too!" Both men get water, because the bartender knows better than to give someone dihydrogen dioxide.

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How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

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what did the cripple, the cancer guy, the blonde, and the blackguy have in common they all have no reason to live

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So a man walks into a bar and gets drunk.

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Why did the man scream when his dog ran into the room? Because he was afraid of dogs.

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Q: How do you make Kobie Bryant cry? A: Kill his family.

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a kid plays computer games alot and gets carpoltunel in both hands and lives in pain for the rest of his life.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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What's endangered like the Spotted Owl? A Cancer patient.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms

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whats black, white, and bloody all over? i don't know, but we should stop making jokes and help it already.

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A blind man walks into a library.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who is there? Not Suzie

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How did the guy fall off the roof? He was pushed

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Pianos.

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What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A Pool Table.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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