How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why do females have boobs? So they can breast feed their babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A dyslexic blind man walks into the bartender behind the bra

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q. How many leprechauns does it take to screw in a light bulb? A. Light bulbs don't exist

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was sally crying? She could hear her parents having sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the Dark Knight say to the Policeman? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A blindman walks into a bar... then a chair, then a pole

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why did the squrill leave his home an ax-man cut it down

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How come Pluto and Goofy are both dogs, but Goofy can talk and Pluto can't? Because Goofy can walk on two legs, and is therefore superior to Pluto in Walt Disney's eyes.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the fish cross the road? Because the chicken was carrying an aquarium.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats a diffrence between a bench and a black person the bench is a thing a black person is a human being

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Person: hey buddy have you heard the greteat news Freind: yea you have aids Person: no my wife jusr became a pristatue an she had ten patients already i was her first

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Pete and Repete are sitting on a fence. Pete falls off. Pete suffers from a scraped knee and a bruised tailbone.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than tripping over a tree root? The destruction of the ancient city of Pompeii in A.D. 79. Though tripping over a tree root may hurt and result in the victim bleeding profusely, we live in the 21st century and at any time can call a doctor using a cellular device called a phone. In A.D. 79, no technology in this category existed. People were overpowered by the rage of a mountain that they believed was a sign of the wrath of the heavens. People had to flee the city and a majority of them we killed by either inhaling to much smoke or other causes. This continued for over 18 hours. Therefore, the destruction of Pompeii is far worse than tripping over a tree root.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats your budget like? a budget.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how do u know when your in west virginia? when the houses have more wheels than the cars

thumb_up thumb_down +35

all your base are belong to mark

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Have you ever had a traditional Ethiopian Dinner? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Q : How many babies do you need to paint a wall A : It depends on how hard you throw

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops