Guy: I have a gun get in my van Girl: SHOTGUN!

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Harry Potter: Hey voldemort, you wanna go get our noses pierced?? Voldemort: I killed your parents.

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I was walking down the street next thing I new 15 blacks and Hispanics died in a dive buy. The next day every white guy in the cars doin the drive buy blew up ohwell

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If you place a dog next to a cow, they're not the same size

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did you hear about the argument between jamie jacob and dylan? daniel killed them all

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How do you fit a billion llamas into a box? you dont

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A man and a midget walk into a bar each carrying a suitcase. They were stopping by after work.

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How old am I? If you guessed correctly, you are psychic. If you guessed incorrectly, I will send flying gnomes to capture and torture you. Unless, of course, you are of a racial minority in which case nothing will happen to you because I am not racist. :P

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Simon: Knock Knock Alfredo: Who's there? Simon: Wire Alfredo: Wire Who SImon? Simon: Wire are you asking me this!!!!

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- Pete and Repeat are in a boat. Repeat falls off, who's left? - Pete? - F**k yes.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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What happens when three drunk men are driving 80 miles off of a cliff. They all die on impact from the great fall and their family's mourn over their deaths for years to come.

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How do you know that an elephant has been in your refrigerator? The door is ripped off and the refrigerator is lying on it's side. All the shelves are strewn around the floor and your food has been partially eaten or simply crushed. You also have costly damage done to your house and most likely a frightened elephant in your house

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Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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Why did the hispanic buy a pepsi? Because he was thirsty.

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Why did I miss my bus? Because my watch was wrong.

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Sit her in the corner and deprive her of things she likes to do.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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10 years ago we had Steve Jobs, Bob Hope, and Jonny Cash. Now we have?

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jehovah's Witnesses, can we have a moment of your time?

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Roses are red Violets are blue This poem is wrong As violets are violet

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What does a chicken get for Christmas? A trip to the processing plant.

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why did the feminist cross the road? to suck a dick

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How many cupcakes are there in the world joe How many? I don't know I was asking you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops