- Anti Joke

Today we eat large amounts of pizza. The one piece had a lot of mushrooms. Like more than the other pieces. The cheese was flawless except for the burnt edges.

Q. I'm not hot, I'm not cold I'm not young, I'm not old I'm not lame, I'm not cool I'm not smart, and I'm not a fool. What am I? A. Text

What's fatter than your mum? Your mum's mum

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't cross it. He was pushed.

Hoverboards are still not available, and it's already October 21, 2015...

Two men and a woman go to lunch together at a restaurant in New York City. The first man says, "I'm glad that we're finally doing this." The second man says, "Yeah, me too." The woman concurs.

Roses are red Violets are blue Still the Holocaust

Why was six afraid of seven. It wasnt because numbers cant possible show emotions. I

So a blond, a brunette, a ninja, a pirate, a priest, a rabbi, a mathematician and an engineer all walk into a bar, and the bartender says, "What, is this some kind of joke?"

what did Marvin Gay's father say to him before he died? "hey come listen to this 45 real quick"

Why doesn't Squidward wear pants? Because he's a pervert

What do you get when you take a bag of chips and divide it by 5? a Nike store worker's meal

What's worse than one bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The holocaust? What's worse than the holocaust? Three bee stings.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

What do you call a dog with no legs? It doesn't matter because he's not gonna come

Mickey Mouse peed on a house what color was it? It wasn't a color, or any pee for that matter. Mickey Mouse is a fictional character for children's amusement.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's the difference between a blonde and a carrot? One's a human, the other's a vegetable.

What did the orphan do on Mother's Day? He went to the cemetery

Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

How many blondes does it take to skrew in a lightbulb? Usually just one.

roses are red violets are blue i killed your family

a white guy a black guy and a hispanic guy walk into a bar.

Person 1: Hey Person 2: What's up? Person 1: Kill Yoself Person 2: Alright

Q. How do you make a chicken dance? A. I don't know I was asking you.