A frog jumped on the lilly pad, it sank and drown and all of the tadpoles didn't have a mother and inevitably died

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96

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How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

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I'll take a Reuben, light sauce, and could you do Provolone instead of Swiss?

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Ask me if I'm an orange? Are you an orange? No.

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Q: Did you hear that Hollywood actress got stabbed last night? A: Really? Which one? Q: Reese.. um wither.. withersomething A: Witherspoon? Q: Yes. Her. She's in a critical condition.

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Racial Equality

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How are friends and bananas alike? If you peel their skin and eat them they die.

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One of my nipples is a different colour from the other two. Is this normal? The Doctor replied with the answer no and said you have cancer

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A man walked into a bar. Ouch.

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The black man at the narcotics anonymous meeting said, "oh, this isn't bingo is it?" then walked out of the room feeling mildly embarassed.

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A red-head, a brunette and a blond are trapped on an island 10km from civilization. The red-head swims 1.5km's, but is to tired, so she swims back to the island. The brunette swims 3km's, but is too tired, so she swims back to the island. After watching the first two fail, the blond evaluates the situation and decides that she does not possess the swimming ability required to reach the 5km point (At which swimming back to the island becomes equally as far as swimming to civilization), and instead stays on the island and creates a signal fire out of bits of debris scattered on the island, getting rescued within hours.

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What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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The Labour Party.

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Terry's penis oh wait! what penis But I'm not a rapper

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I got a brother. He's bigger then you.

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Why was six afraid of seven? A: He just does.

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What do you call a banana in a blender? A banana in a blender. Duh

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roses are blue violets are red and just like you they're messed up in the head

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Women's rights

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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Knock Knock Who's there? Tennis? Tennis who? Tennis Racket

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your mom is so fat, she uses nutrisystem and other weight-loss systems to try to loose weight.

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telling real jokes on anti-joke is a form of anti jokes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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