Why did the boy die while brushing his teeth? The toothbrush wasn't water-proof.

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If a chicken and a half lays an egg and half in a half of a day how long does it take a monkey with a peg leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

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What can little Billy play? The tumour, sorry I meant what will little Billy die from.

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What do you get when you cross a dog and a cat? A hybrid animal that can never exist to do each species own genetic make-up which would subsequently reject the other's. I.E. The cat would reject the dog sperm from ever fertilizing and the dog would reject cat sperm.

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How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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What's black and white and red all over? A plague victim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was running away from KFC.

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What do you call a cat without a face ? - Kitty !

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Several ways to annoy people: Grab the end of their shirt to blow your nose Try to shove a bowling ball down there throat Try to sell them a broom and vacuum Try to eat their babies paint their toe Nibble their ankles Ask if you can babysit their crystal and if they say no start whining Carry around your chicken and ask if they want a nugget

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A man walks into a bar, he obtains an alcoholic beverage from the store neighboring this bar which he bumped into.

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Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Immobile.

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Why couldn't the Indian kid read? He got shot in the eye.

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what's the square root of pi? nothing. why would you add roots to pie, how gross.

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roses are red violets are blue .no one cares about you, your a jew.

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boobs!

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Why couldnt the man stop dancing? He had Parkinson's.

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Sex education in Texas.

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What did the husband say when his wife startled him as she appeared coming out of the kitchen? You scared me.

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Why was the black Jew sad? He had to sit at the back of the oven

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What does Santa and a grape have in common? They're both purple, except Santa.

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Why did the cow cross the road? -Because it lives in India and is allowed to.

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69

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What would George Washington be doing if he was alive today? Scratching and screaming at the bottom of his coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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