Q:Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest lawyer and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it? A:The old drunk, of course; the other three are mythological creatures.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

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What is long, hard and comes out of a gay persons bum? poo

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What's worse than eating poop for your whole life? Nothing really, you've got serious problems if you have another option...

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her to jump over your car, then drive by in a truck

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Whats brown and smells like shit? Shit.

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What's harder than steel? Beating Tetris. What's harder than diamond? Beating Tetris...

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hi

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Roses are red Violets are red I'm bleeding quite profusely I should proably go to the hospital

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What do you call somebody who votes for Donald Trump? A voter. What do you call somebody who votes for Hillary Clinton? A voter.

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A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

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Why did the man ask his wife to make him a sandwich? He lost both of his arms in the war.

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How do you teach a kid to ski you strap it to the back of a polar bear

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What did the mother say when her sons asked for a can of pop? No you have diabetes.

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What's worse than a broken leg? Two broken legs

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Guy gets new car. TRANFORMER!

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What did the over confident jack-ass say to the hot girl, You'll do.

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A jew walks in the german bar, the jew is captured tortured, raped, and shot along with his entire family

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Why did the little girl fall of the cliff? Someone pushed her

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How do you make a lumberjack cry? Kill his family

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Well that sucks, your dad is dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It wanted to commit suicide

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what would abraham lincoln do if he were alive today? scream and try to open his coffin.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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