ask me if i have a place to call home> 'have you a place to call home?' no im sad and lonely.

F Detroit! I'm more of a Bulls fan

why could the black person jump higher than the white person. because the white person had no legs

why did the boat float up to the sky? because everybody on it died including the boat...

Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? Because it got hit by a Fridge.

What is white, black and blue all over? A zebra that was assaulted by Chuck Norris.

a read head, a brunet, and a blonde sneak into a merchant ship. security hears some noises and goes on to investigate. all three girls jump into banana sacks. security guard kicks the first sack with the read head in it and she growls like a dog, so the security sees its a dog and keeps on walking. he then kicks the sack with the brunet in it, she goes on to hiss like a cat. so then the security guard kicks the last sack with the blonde in it, and she yells out "bananas!"...the end

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

What's Black,White and red all over? A black person with a skin disease on her period.

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

What do you call a child with a peg leg, and eye patch, and no hand? Names

What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? Nothing, he doesn't have the ability to open a present.

A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

Doctor, doctor, I think I've got a problem! Correct, you have got acute cancer, you have 2 months to live.

A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

Knock Knock? Who's there? Sanderson. Sanderson who? You're boyfriend. Let me in. No, I'm a bit busy chopping up dead bodies. Come back in a bit. Oh let me help you! I like the way the blood runs out of the fresh ones!

What was the last thing that went through the crashing helicopter pilot's head? The propeller.

How do you wake up lady gaga? Poke 'er face.

Women don't have penises. Am I the only one who can't get over how WEIRD that is?!?!?

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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