roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy collect poop? Because it was it was his dogs shit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the geman man hit the jewish man? because the jewish man swung a punch at the german man so it was an act of self defense.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats similar between an apple and a black guy there is no similarities between them

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Its a sunny day. There's a tree and a bird. What did they say to each other? --------------------------------------------------- Nothing they can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the girl fall off the slide? she was pushed, by her dad...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happen to the girl that received chocolate on Valentine's day? She had a allergic reaction.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

In space, no one can hear you scream. Which means Xenomorphs are deaf.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Casey Anthony kills a baby

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I ordered the "Anti-Joke" book Jk, waste of money

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did Susie start shaking? She had continuous ceasars

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call Anne Franks life? A big game of hide and go seek.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was Jimmy so bad at jumping rope? His father's car ran over an IED back in 2009. Jimmy had lost his legs in a tragic explosion.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I put children on a leash and store them under my bed. I feed them bird food and they drink eachothers urine.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do u call a joke with no punchline? A non-harmful joke

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the dog say to the muppet? WOOF

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock whos there i have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who Cream cheese

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What does the lifeguard do on his free time? Ejaculate.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why so serious? Your brother died.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops