who is smarter than a human? a nerd

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A panhandler came up to me today and said he hadn't had a bite in weeks, so I gave him some change.

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Fat? Jesse Z

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Why was the boy sad? Because he had a frog stapled to his face.

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Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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What do you get when you cross a man, with Alzheimers disease?

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Friends are like lettuce; If you eat their head, they die

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knock,knock you suck

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i tell you whats funny......... what? a fat sudanese man

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What's worse than dropping an ice-cream cone? A dead baby. What's worse than a dead baby? Two dead babies. What's worse than two dead babies? The holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Dropping two ice-cream cones.

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What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

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So three Irish guys walk out of a bar

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whats up and also down? your mum

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting raped.

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A man walks into a bar with a frown. The bartender asks, "Why are you sad." "My wife got brutally raped then shot last night."

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Rebecca black walked into a bar. She was then escorted out because she is under-aged.

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Friends, they're like food. If you eat them, they die.

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Why was the bartender's baby crying upstairs? Because it was being raped.

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Not your cheese.

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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What happens to a fish with no fin on the right side? It repeatedly swims in a circle.

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How old is victor? Half past dead

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A man walks into a bar. He is knocked unconscious, and passers-by rush to his aid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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