One time at band camp.............that's it........

Yo mama is so fat, she just had a heart-attack.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, My farts stink, And so do you.

hi joshua

What did the black man do when his car was rear-ended? He exchanged insurance information with the other driver.

Why was the boy crying? His parents were brutally burned to death in a fiery car accident.

im passing this on from a friend: 2 blondes walk into a building, you think one woulda saw it,

How many pianos does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and one to play a motivational tune.

roses are red, violets are blue, i dont like to rhyme, but i do like to poo.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Q: What do you call cheese that isn't yours? A: Cheese.

How do you make a plumber mad? You tell him that his princess is in another castle about a thousand times over 25 years.

How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

A priest, a rabbi and a shaman walk into a bar. Except there is no rabbi and there is no shaman and the bar is actually my 8th birthday party priest is molesting me. And the priest is my dad. My dad molested me. A lot...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because its instincts were telling it that the higher amount of grass on the other side of the road would lead to an increase in the odds of survival due to a more adequate source of food and nourishment.

why was the mother sad? her sons school was bombed by terrorists. there we no survivors

whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

What did the camel say to the polar bear at the bar? "Uuuhhrrhrhhh"

What's the best rabbit for a black person?

What do you get if you throw a banana at the wall? Nothing.

Why is mario red? His mother beat him as a child.

knock, knock who's their? police get down on the ground!

Your life

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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