Q: What was the proctologist doing on the street? A: He was observing the assfault.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? "Justin Bieber" And you let him in because he's a young talented singer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt, it got stuck at a red light, it waited 5 minutes before getting frustrated and leaving. Later that day the chicken realized that it had forgotten to press the button.

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What did the monk give to the cancer patient? His love and reassurance.

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what would u do if you were having anal sex with a black guy and his penis was sooooo big that it ripped ur asshole? staple it back together

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs Mat

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If a tree falls in the forrest and a women hears it does it make a sound? Why is there a tree in the kitchen.

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What gets you a succesful life and career? Swag

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions? A. Watching your attorney drive off a cliff in your new car.

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What's the difference between a baby and a trampoline? I take off my shoes when I jump on a trampoline

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock? -Who's there? Not the girl.

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Knock Knock ............... No one's home.

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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Why did the boy Drop his Ice Cream? Because he was hit by a bus.

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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Knock Knock Who's there? It is actually not a good idea to say "who's there" to the random person outside. The man could be a robber or a murderer, and will realize a person is inside. He could bomb the door down and do anything to kill you. You should look through the window first, or through the little peep hole. If the person outside is an acquaintance, then you can respond. However it is best to not reply and leave the stranger alone. Safety is key to living a happy joyful life.

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When does a cat not land on its feet? When it lands on its back.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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What do you call two babys with one head? I dont know either, answers on postcard please!

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What happened when the chicken got to the other side of the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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So a hispanic man and a black man jump from a tree, which one hits the ground first? The hispanic man, the rope caught the black man.

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ask me if i am a tree. no.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops