How do you make time fly? Develop a flying suit to put on a sun dial.

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An alien spacecraft picks up human transmissions from Earth. They continue on in silence and disgust.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I don't know, you answer the door.

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What do dogs and whales have in common? They both live in the ocean. Apart from the dog.

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THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME THE GAME

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What's better than sex? I have never had sex and, therefor, do not have adequate knowledge of the experience enough to make a comparison to other experiences. You should ask someone who has had sex.

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Relax, anyway I hope its just the not not hypnotic suggestion, it would be really disappointing to to know that you are high on weed, even if it is very relaxing, not that I would know, I tried valium once, it kinda increased that sensation you have tenfold. Anyway, what I meant to say was, would you kindly tell me what size your breasts are? Do you shave down there?

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matt is fat

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How can you know your roommate is gay? His dick has the taste of shit

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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How does camon Die? He kills himself because he didnt make it into the marine corps

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What did the cat say to the dog? Communism

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What did the friend say to the other friend? A. Hi friend.

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I have read and agreed to the terms of service

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Someone with a lame joke: What's black and white and red all over? Smart person who decides to mess with him: Nothing, if it is red all over how can it be black and white???????

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What's an anti joke? Then I ate my digestive biscuit.

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What happens to an elephant when it rains? It gets wet.

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There's two sausages in a pan.. One says "Wow it's hot in here" The other says... "agrhhh a talking sausage"

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How did 3 fat women fit under 1 small umbrella and not get wet? It wasn't raining!

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Indians

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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How did Helen Keller’s parents punish her? By grounding her.

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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