What is the difference between a duck? None! One of their legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Who's the fastest kid in AA

thumb_up thumb_down +8

19 cats 33 hamsters 24 turtles and 23 dogs are all in a small cage, PETA is not happy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

There once was a man from Nantucket, who had his car stolen and wasn't very happy so called the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You sick fiend

thumb_up thumb_down +8

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit it with an axe!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

so....a guy is sitting on the couch looking out his living room window and a cab pulls up and honks..he says to himself, "wow that was quick, i just called for the cab 5 minutes ago!"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q. What did the Muffins say to the man? A. Nothing, muffins are inanimate objects therefore unable to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What does the Fawkes say? "Remember, remember, the 5th of November..."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Grass is green Get in the van If you know what I mean

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a dolphin without a head? Dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did Kermit the frog say at Jim Henson's funeral? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon? One is fun to smash with a hammer. The other is a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

qu'est ce qui est petit et poilu? un asticot poilu

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What happens if you fall of a cliff You die

thumb_up thumb_down +8

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you do with a leg less dog? Take him for a drag.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

You are in an airplane, and you have 500 bricks. You throw one out the door. How many do you have? 499. What are the 3 steps to putting an elephant in a fridge? 1-open the door,2-put the elephant in,3-close the door. How do you put a giraffe in the fridge? You open the door, take the elephant out, put the giraffe in, and shut the door. The lion king is having a party for all the animals… which one didn't go? The giraffe, it's in the fridge. An old lady is trying to cross an alligator infested river. She makes it over. How? The alligators are at the party. She dies anyway. How? She gets hit by the brick you threw out of the window.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Robin, get in the Batmobile.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops