What did the nun eat for breakfast? Baseballs.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why doesn't Andy wanna bend over to puck something up? That's how he got assraped!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's brown and smells like shit? The rapidly decaying bodies of several dead chipmunks.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock knock? Whose There? Not Suzie, She can't knock

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's black and white and red all over? The newspaper classified section after a man has abandoned long, futile job hunt. He has crossed out all the potential jobs with red ink. He was laid off due to the downturn in the economy and will now have to get food stamps, which is very embarrassing for a man who has worked to support his family his entire life.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Q: why is there always a window in front of the kitchen sink A: so when the woman is washing the dishes she can see the grass she is about to cut

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's the difference between a jew and a pizza? A jew is a person contending to the faith of Judaism, and a pizza is an Italian flat normally round or square baked good consisting of dough, tomato sauce, cheese and various spices, and is sometimes enjoyed with toppings such as meat or vegetables

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did Martha Stewart's skin hurt? My friend has a skin condition :( and is dying, skin cancer is not something to make fun of.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What happened to the Jewish man while he was in the shower? He accidentally fell asleep and was late to his job.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

The frightened girl did everything the man said. " Open your legs. Bend over..." She was playing Simon says and was afraid to loose. It wasn't sexual abuse, which her sister had experienced while traveling around the world in 2007.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

how did the kenyan get away from the cop He didnt he got arrested

thumb_up thumb_down -29

what did the captcha response say to the man? ofdorno which.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did the Asian see when he went to Youtube.com? Youtube.com

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the guy in the wheelchair die? He was mauled by tigers.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

So a magician was droving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you attach a nipple tassle to a purple honey badger? Refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What did Selena Gomez say to JB? We're breaking up cuz u smell like French fries and you look like a poop

thumb_up thumb_down -29

A captain crashes his boat into a rock. He has the option to save to save his wife or his best friend. He saves neither and drowns.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

thumb_up thumb_down -29

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Why did the chicken cross the road? Apple

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Knock Knock? Whos there? The police, please open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

thumb_up thumb_down -31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops