What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus

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Why is it not safe for turkeys to do maths? Because they don't have the mental capacity to carry out the calculations correctly, which would be a danger in jobs such as engineering or the space industry. Furthermore, they are unable to understand the concept of numbers or symbols and therefore have no motivation to solve mathematical problems; and even if they did, they don't have the dexterity or education to write out the solutions.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Where would a 65 year old man find a young, attractive woman who would take any interest in him? Very likely in a hospital, but that would be a professional interest, not a sexual one.

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what happened to the fat lady she went on a diet and is now skinny but she cant resist mcdonalds big macs so she quickly become fat

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How many turrets patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? Cocksucker!!

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How do you make asian ice cream you mix it with a textbook

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Q:When a T- Rex walks into your house what does it mean? A: Your on pot, T-rex's are extinct

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Two penguins, sitting in a bath tub. One says, "Pass the soap!" The other says, "What do you think I am?! A clock?"

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whats worse than a baby impaled on your lawn... the universe being consumed by a giant albino ape with over sized testicles

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How do you drown a dumb blonde? Hold her underwater.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because he had legs.

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whats funny about about adailia rose?nothing shes just fucked up in every way shape and form. but 100% defenatly stick my cock in her shitter

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What do you do if you are surrounded by 2000 Hungry cannibals? You talk to them in a calm yet determined diplomatic voice, then you become a part of them. Moral: A part of them... Forever.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't because he's CHICKEN.

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What did the cow say to the chicken? - Muuuuhhhhhhhhh!

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what's better than winning the special olympics?.. Not being retarded

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What do you get when you cross an owl and a bungee cord? My ass

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Osama bin Laden walks into a bar. Just joking, he's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? - To rape you. Knock Knock. Who's there? The Chicken.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to his party? Because he used to be alive and was burned to death by an overturned truck carrying chemical's so his family canceled the party to organise the funeral.

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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hold the planet Dumb ass well I'm doing something else right now dumb ass

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops