Roses are red Violets are blue, Sugar is sweet But i have commitment issues So I'd rather just be friends at this point in our relationship.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong walked on the moon, and Michael Jackson is dead....

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69

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A priest and a small child enter a bar. The bartender takes his son back from the priest, paying him $30 for his exemplary babysitting services.

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Q: Why did the duck eat some grass? A: because we are so careless that we caused global causing the entire pond to shrink to a size where it cannot raise a family and the fish could not prosper so the duck could not eat what it had forcing it do consume an inedible substence causing it to die because is not a natural part of a ducks diet

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? Depending on the amount of saliva you produce each lick the answer to this question varies species to species.

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Q: What should you do when life gives you lemons? A: Life would never really give you lemons...

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never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down

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What's green and fuzzy and will kill you if it falls out of a tree? A pool table

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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If you are reading this you will soon suffer a slow and painful blow job... -_-

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Your dad got tired while running, so he stopped running.

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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what is fun to eat but dumb when its alive? A dumb yummy candy

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because grass don't eat meat.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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whats the differnce between a white boy and a black boy? skin color

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Why did the car cross the road? Isn't that what cars do?

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What did the bicycle say to the fat kid? Nothing, bikes cant talk.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in an apple? Rape and child abuse.

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How did little Tommy die? i pushed him into the deep end of the pool

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Turns out he was needed immediately at a business meeting.

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How do you kill a domb blond? Shoot her in the head.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops