What do you get when you cross an ugly hobo and a diabetic? Don't talk about your mom like that.

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A sober Irish individual.

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Why couldn't Ariel talk in the Little Mermaid? Someone slit her throat.

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Why did the baby's bedroom smell so bad? The mom farted.

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when the zombie apocolypse comes what do you do? you die

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Moral: Sure, your number is the one that ends with 853 right? Do not reply if I am right. Moral2: BECAUSE TOP COMMENT... AND SERIOUSLY, THAT NUMBER BETTER END WITH 69 AFTER I CALL YOU! DO NOT REPLY

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What Did The Hobo Get For Christmas? A Welcome Home Mat.

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What did you the blonde death amuptee child get for Christmas? Cancer.

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24

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What did the girl say to the boy? You are a boy.

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Adam: knock knock!! Eve: who's there? Adam: don't be silly, just open the f*cking door!!

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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What's better than Sookie? The holocaust

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why dont you throw rocks at a mexican on a bike? its unethical and can severely hurt the individual on the bike

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What do you call a woman when you're inside her? Mom.

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two friends are hanging out, one says to the other "whats 5 plus 5" the other says, "you know i didnt finish school and i dont appriceate you making fun of me" the other boy looks away and walks off

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What walks like a duck, talks like a duck, and looks like a duck? Nothing. Ducks cannot speak, therefore this description negates all known living organisms.

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Why couldn't the Jew get pregnant? Because he was man.

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Person 1: "Broo my dicks like 19 inches!" Person 2: "Thas not healthy, an erection that big will deprive your brain of too much blood and kill you."

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What happened to the blonde who blew out her birthday candles? Her hair caught on fire

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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why did the chicken cross the road? he was stapeled to a cow and the cow got hit by a bus so they died.

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What do 9 out of 10 people enjoy? Gangrape

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops