Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Whats worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it Biting into a baby and finding a worm in it

thumb_up thumb_down -7

If 2 wrongs make a right and 2 rights make a wrong, then when you have 4 rights=2 wrongs, you have a true statement. If you have 8 rights = 4 wrongs, you have a verified statement.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know why the kid jumped down the 50 foot hole? I dont know, jump in and ask him.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

you give like i give lomain

thumb_up thumb_down -7

It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Two lifelong friends walk into the locl Bar and each order a Beer. " So how's life treating ya?" Phil replies, " Well Doug, I've got Stage Four Lung Cancer. I'm going to Die, remember?" Unfortunately, Doug doesn't remember because Doug has a Brain Tumor.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

drugs sex and alchohole are yumme as AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the woman put super glue on her sun glasses? Because she stepped on them and they broke.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the white man buy a new pair of socks? His old ones has holes.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what's worse than finding a worm in your apple? rape

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the other Albino cross the road? He was running away from a witch doctor who was going to brutally murder him and steal his body parts.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you torture Helen Keller? Give her a cheese-grater and tell her it's a book.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why are crocodiles so angry? because they have a lot of teeth but no tooth brush?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How many Jews do you have to kill in order to make a museum? 6 Million.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

regoereiorgiorehgijreirehrfjirgjirejgruirehgrghehiiehaoiwpo;lkswpokewqoifgoieqjgiubtfoewfiir K.O

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What do you call a boy with one arm one leg and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Cheese

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -7

why did the man fall off his unicycle? because he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops