What's the difference between being hungry and being horny? Where you put the cucumber

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y did simran cros rode? 2 get 2 uder side ofcurse. stopid nobs

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What starts with F and ends with U-C-K? Firetruck

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Actually, Red Bull helps temporarily restore wakefulness when experiencing fatique or drowsiness.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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why did little johnny start choking? because somebody shoved a bag down his throat

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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Why did i write an antijoke? Because i can't write real jokes.

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Why did a little kid's mom let go of his hand? John Wilks Booth shot her

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Why did Kelsey run out of eggs? Horses don't have much sperm.

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I contracted AID's from a prostitute So I went out and killed 4 gay since they are the most prominent carriers of the disease I also killed a black man I kill a black man everyday

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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Want to hear a joke? No.

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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What did the white guy say to the two black guys? I like oreos.

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Why did Timmy's face hurt? Because there was a frog stapled to it.

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What do get when you mix cancer and a bike? Lance Armstrong

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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A guy said a racist joke and he got beat up now he is in the hospital for what he said.

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Why did two girls need one cup? they didnt feel like washing an extra dish to drink their coca cola

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Why can't Hellen Keller drive? Because She's Dead.

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A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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