- Anti Joke

What did the policeman say to the man robbing the bar? Stealing is wrong. Then the police read the man his Miranda laws.

A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

There was once a Polish man who was extremely sad with life because people always made fun of him. He decided to do something about it. He sat down to contemplate the situation, and after a few hours, he thought, "I have never seen anyone making fun of Italians. So, if I start talking and behaving like them, no one will be able to make out that I am Polish and make fun of me." He went into isolation for three months and after a lot of practice, he walked confidently into a shop and said, "I am a very hungry. Give me some pepperoni and zucchini." Immediately, the man behind the counter said "Are you Polish?" This guy was taken aback and he repeated his request. The man behind the counter said, "Are you Polish or not?" This man was finally very ashamed and amazed at the shop owner's discerning ability and so he admitted to the fact after which he asked, "But how did you know?" The shopkeeper replied, "My grandmother was Polish. I could tell by your accent."

When you see birds flying in a V why is one side of the V always longer than the other? there are more birds on that side

"You go, Glen Coco" -Mean Girls, 2004

To clowns walk into a bar. They don't notice each other because as soon as they walk to a 5-yard radius, the length that was said to be the range of a clowns eyesight (which was actually said by a controversial scientist, looked on as a madman; he created a whole clown-eyesight-range conspiracy), when a fire starts, creating a huge apocalyptic event. However, the two clowns go into the bar unphased. Both clowns then turn opposite directions. The clown on the right sits down with his drink and takes out his book about the Victorian Era. He constantly checks his watch. The clown on the left disapears into the croud, and steals french fries from table 36. After three hours, they both walk to the back of the bar, simultaneously tying their shoes not noticing their similarity in career choices. They both open a door marked PRIVATE (while tying their shoes). After sixteen days of exactly the same thing happening repeatedly... Both clowns see eachother on the way out of the bar. Little do the know that they are being watched by the scientist I mentioned earlier. Two Years Later Both clowns die instantly after being attacked by a giant war hammer-wielding octopus on the way home from the circus.

Q: Why was the man eating his foot? A: Because he was a part of the circus.

What's scarier than the most horrifying monster you can think of? The thought of Donald Trump becoming president!

A man walks into a bar. He then says "ow".

Steven hawkings shook my hand

What's black, white, and red all over? An interracial couple that got hit by a bus.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

Q. Where did Little Timmy go for Christmas? A. Auschwitz

yo mama is so fat that a kid said to her ' The White Buddha Has Returned'

What did the hammer say to the screwdriver? You're a tool

Knock knock Who's there? Doctor Doctor who? Doctor Adams. You called me about your father's stroke.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

Q:what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile? A:get in the batmobile

Roses are red, Violets are too. I'm colour blind, It's a very depressing infliction.

mexicans fishing

What did the depressed man get for his birthday? a rope

How do u make a black man cry? Kill his family!

You go on Nero, he got all red, not sure if he is mad or ashamed or both, but we can all tell that man is jealous. Employee.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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