Roses are Red Lemons are Sour Pull Down Your Pants And Give Me an Hour

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

Why is the deer afraid of the hunter? Because he doesn't want to get shot.

What did the Rabbi say when the Priest asked how his family was? The Rabbi breaks into tears as he explains his family was killed in the Holocaust.

What do you call the birth of George Lucas? Terrible, abdominal pain for his mother.

what can jump higher than a tree? anything that can jump because everyone knows that trees cannot jump.

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to give it a female name.

Why was the man white? Because he wasn't black. All credit goes to Caravel.

Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red, HOLY SHIT THE GARDEN'S ON FIRE

Whats worse than cold feet? getting your feet chopped off.

Q: Why did the man die of starvation??? A: He didn't eat for 3 days!!

WWII veteran screamed! "You damn yellow monkey" "But sir... ...my fur is brown!" Replied the monkey.

what do you call someone who cant breathe? dead

Why did the chicken cross the road? He did it for fitness.

What is small, yellowy-white and emits a kind of cheesy smell? A lump of cheese

What do you tell your friend who has been cheating on his wife? You're a terrible human being, and she deserves better!

What do you call it when Justin Beiber has sex with a woman? Intercourse.

What did little Timmy get for Christmas after he was diagnosed with leukemia? A gift card to Bed Bath and Beyond because he was interested in redecorating.

Who jumps the highest in basketball? The mascot because he has a trampoline.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To save his soon to be butchered family.

If pro is the opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? Regression.

Why did humpty dumpty have a great fall? He was committing suicide.

my mom just came up and saw me masturbateing

Why did a girl get an STD? She had sex.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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