how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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My mom told me I was pretty, I know now that she is a liar.

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie.

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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How do you stop a baby flying 100mph? a shovel

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A tree falls in the woods. A deaf boy, who had been frolicking through the forest, is struck down by the tree. He dies. His parents are ridden with grief for years, until finally the father commits suicide. The mother soon remarried and had two more children. Both died before the age of 15. She was a horrible mother.

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A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead are trapped on a deserted island when they come across a magic lamp. The brunette rubs the lamp and a genie appears! The genie offers them each a wish. They all make their wishes, but none of them come true as the genie was simply a hallucination brought on by severe trauma and dehydration.

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Q: My hands are queefing vaginas A: Milk isn't wearing underwears

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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What is the difference between an apple and an apple? One has a brown spot.

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There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

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Guy: guess what girl: what Guy: nevermind girl: no what Guy: i love you girl:.. i love myself too..

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Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

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How far can a baby fly? As far as you can throw it.

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A man walks into a bar and says "Ouch"

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What's better than your first Hanukkah? Not being a Jew.

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Roses are red. Violets are grey. People hate me. Mongoose.

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What happened to the woman who walked down a dark alley way? She found a lolly.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? i lost my tractor

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Knock, knock. Who's there? "Dwane!" I don't know any Dwane. Perhaps you have the wrong address. "Oh. Sorry to have bothered you!"

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how do you make a quiet person talk? you water-board them

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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Why do black people have a bad reputation? Because they do bad things.

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French man: Bonjour! English man: um, i am not french! french man: oh, My chat is on this beautiful country! Her name is Valentina! English man: What you poo in the open and name them?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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