Roses are red, But ravens are black, Please go to China, and never come back!

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i went to the bar. soon after i entered the bar i got kicked out. why? becuase i'm seventeen.

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

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A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

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What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

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Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

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Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

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What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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What did the penguin wearing a blue sweater say to the sink? I am a penguin wearing a blue sweater.

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What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Sorry wrong door.

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Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Except for the cases when you die...then you are dead.

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What separates man from animal? Divorce.

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Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

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How do you ask a blonde out to dinner? Politely

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Q) What did the cowboy say to the astronaut? A) Howdy.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What red, white, and blue? A white person who was raped by a clown.

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Q.-What's the difference between broccoli and a dead moose? A.-Yes.

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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