How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

Why was the Black Boy shot? It was because he was walking alone at night in a dangerous neighborhood, where there are many gangs. People should know not to go alone at night in dangerous places, or even in the day.

What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

God has put a gate keeper at a gate in heaven to listen to how everyone has died. The first guy comes and says, "I thought my wife was cheating on me so when i came home I see this man hanging off my balcony, I thought he was the man cheating with my wife, so I then push him off, but he was still alive, so I threw a refrigerator onto him, that killed him, but I felt so guilty I soon commited suicide" The gates man said, "Wow thats terrible come in." Then the next guy come and he says how he died, "Well you see I was just oiling myself up for my workout, but I slipped, and fell off my 5th story balcony, and landed in some guys 3rd floor balcony I was hanging off the ledge, and a guy came I thought he was going to help me, but instead he pushed me of and threw a refrigerator on me." The guard let him in, and a third guy came. The Guard said,"Man its going to be hard to beat those guys their just sad. Ok how did you die?" The third man said, "Picture this I'm trapped in a refrigerator...

What is the worst part about dying? no-one cause no-one has ever survived dying to know what it is like so how is it possible that I would know

Whats worse to see 100 dead babies on the bed of a truck or 100 fake babies falling directly from the empire state building... I don't know I have never seen either but if you could tell me if you saw it maybe i can use my imaination!!!

There's 2 guys in a Y shaped road. One road leads to a cliff with deadly alligators below the river. The other road leads to the village. You can ask both of the guys one question to which leads to the village. However, one guy always tells the truth and the other guy always tells a lie. How do you get to the village? GPS

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get ran over.

Why did a black person get gingivitis? He repeatedly didn't brush which caused both dental plaque and tartar getting filled with harmful bacteria, and if they aren't removed from teeth, they will begin to irritate the gums and cause gingivitis.

what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree It was dead Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree He was stapled to the first monkey Why did the refridgerator fall out of the tree? its a refridgerator Why did the third monkey jump out of the tree It thought it was a game

What do you call a zebra with no stripes? A zebra with no stripes

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

You know what's wrong with Oprah? Generally nothing. She's a well-respected African American woman who happens to be quite wealthy and likes to share her wealth with other people.

Knock Knock Whos There Policeman Policeman who Please open then door your fathers been in a terrible car accident

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

Robert Mugabe.

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

roses are red violets are blue this verse doesn't ryhme and neither does this one

Why wouldn't joey pay attention in class? Because he was being raped by a grizzly bear.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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