Three soldiers, one Japanese, one American, and one Italian were stuck in a desert. How did they escape? A rescue squad of thirty trained troops came down in a helicopter and brought them each to their respective homes except the Italian who was actually a M.afia boss so they put him in prison.

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants? It was probably a cold day.

Whats the difference between a nigro and a nigro... They are both BLACK!

Who comes up with terrible jokes and then mentions the name of the person they are talking about like a bitch? Both of us, Dylan.

What's black and white and red all over? I don't care I have AIDS

Whats worse tan finding a worm in your apple? Being touched by Michael Jackson

I Have A Dog Named Woof Woof A Chicken Called Clucky A Cow Named Moo And A Pig Named Oink Lol Jks I Was Talking About My Wife

I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

Timmy needed to use the restroom in class, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I go use the restroom?". The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said, "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

Why did the man look in the mirror? To see his reflection.

When life gives you cancer, make cancer-aids.

I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

Jimmy: I'm like hey, what's up, hello. Jon: I've already met you.

Dude man, I'm high...

What's green, little, and eats rocks? A Little Green Rock-Eater What's green and has a thousand wheels? A lawn, I lied about the wheels! If I were to throw a rock down the a whole in the center of the earth (straight through) what would happen? The Little Green Rock-Eater would eat it!

Fuzzy Wuzzy was bear, Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair, and died of cancer

What did the farmer say when the potatoes were ready for harvest? The potatoes are ready for harvest.

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

Why was 6 afraid of seven? seven commited statitory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8, murdered nine, was sent to jail for life, let out early for community service, and told 6 he was coming forhim 6 months later.... 6 commited suicide by jumping off a cliff his body was never found his family didnt get to say good bye thats why 6 is afraid of 7

what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

Darth Vader: Luke, I am your father! Luke: You're not my dad!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAAHA PENIS

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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