Roses are red, Violets are blue, I touch myself at night.

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Q: How many feminists does it take to change a lightbulb? A: That's not funny.

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Q: What's gray and comes in gallons? A: Gray paint.

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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Why was Cinderella so bad at ball? Isn't that sexist, making assumptions about Cinderella's sports capability when you have never seen her play sports before (because she is a fictional character) and then asking why this is true when you have no proof that it is in fact true? But I would guess the correct answer is (if she is bad at ball in the first place) that she never played ball before. Think about it. Why did you have to ask this question at all? Isn't it obvious?

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Why can't Heller Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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What time is it Mr.Wolf? About half 5. Alright, thanks mate. How's the kids? Managing. Yeah. Yeah. Crazy world. Anyway, Got to be going. Yeah yeah. Say hi to the wife for me. Will do. Alright, Bye. See you later.

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There once was a plain Cheerio. He has a decent life with a low paying job and an apartment. One day, he decided to make his life more fun and started going to parties. He met some women and had a good time. He was happier and was soon promoted at work. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself, only to discover that he was now a Honey-nut Cheerio. He continued to go to parties and met a girl that eventually became his girlfriend. He became a manager at work and moved into an expensive condo. The next day, he woke up and tasted himself and was a Frosted Cheerio. He then quit his job and opened a club, where he became the most popular Cheerio in town. All guys wanted to be him, girls with him. At one party, his girlfriend asked him for some punch. He went to the kitchen but couldn't find any. There was no punch-line.

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What is more difficult than trying to get blood from a stone? Trying to teach it Japanese in the process. [L]

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reggin... its N I GG E R backwards

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Two women are sitting next to each other in a bar minding their own business.

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Why did the stoner cross the road? He didn't. He was stoned

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He got hit by a semi.

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A man walks into a bar with a chicken on his head the bartender asks the man why do you have a chicken on your head the man replies the chicken is thirsty

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why is dog animal? it is not fish! 18 fits of has hair only have is Buddhist

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Why couldn't little Jeffy find his way to gumdrop palace? Because he was shot

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Why does the Taliban forbid people from having sex standing up? It might lead to dancing. And then, of course, death.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Nothing, he found his tractor and went back to work.

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Why did the black man eat lucky charms? Because it was breakfast time and he was hungry.

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What do you do to a woman who has a black eye? Punch her in the other eye so that they match.

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Why did the man have sex with other men? Because he was homosexual.

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What do you call an unconscious black man? An ambulance.

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Nigel Farrage and the concept of UKIP.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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