What do George Washington, JFK and Hillary Clinton have in common? They've never been to my house.

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What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

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Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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what did the handicap, gimp kid get on his test? I cant tell you.

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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Joe Paterno walks into a police station.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Why didnt the guy knok on the door Because the door was open to begin with

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women and girls can really get enjoyment out of sex. it's not really about controlling the man.

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minorities

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How do you put 4 elephants inside a Volkswagen? You'd have to the change the interior design of the car and probably cut most of the roof. How do you put a Giraffe inside a Volkswagen? You ask her nicely to squeeze in between the four elephants...

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Knock knock Whos there? Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior jesus christ?

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what do you get when you cross an ant with toni? ANTONI

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm gonna f*ck you with a rake.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven. Except when I said muffins I meant Jews. .. I guess it really isn't that funny anymore.

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Your mother is so fat that when she looks in the mirror she is deeply upset by her appearance.

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Yo mama's so fat, she weighs 283 pounds.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. At least that's what I've heard, I'm blind.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Why couldn't the mother make her son's funeral? She died in a car crash on the way there.

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what's funnier than a dead baby nailed to a tree? Pretty much anything because infant mortality is in no way funny

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What do you get when you cross a crocodile and a couch? A coat because vests don't have sleeves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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