Bill: My brother died on 9/11 Steve: Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Was he in one of the towers? Bill: Both. Steve: Both? Bill: Well, he was in the first tower when the first plane hit, so he ran over warn everybody in the second tower. While he was in the second tower, he died of AIDS. Steve: LOL! Bill: Quit your laughing, Steve, and make sweet, sweet love to me! Steve: It would be my pleasure! (While Bill and Steve made sweet, sweet love on a park bench, little did they know that a hundred miles away in a beautiful Los Angeles home, actor Jeff Goldblum was making himself a turkey sandwich with extra mayonnaise)

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Fun Fact: If humans stood in a single file line around the equator, most of them would drown.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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How many men does it take to screw in a lightbulb...1 How many women does it take to screw in a lightbulb...2

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Why did the blonde turn down prostitution? She knows it is illegal and has better moral values than that.

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one of my best friends is blind and hasn't been able to see anything hhis entire life but he can hear a hummingbird from 50 yards away i mean, talk about worthless..

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What did the coat say to the dog? Nothing, the coat was inanimate

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What do you call a flat-chested woman with a penis? A man.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue Violets are not blue They are Violet

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How do you get Helen Keller to keep a secret? You politely ask her not to tell anyone.

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Why can't Ray Charles drive? Because he's dead.

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What did the girl say when she was getting raped? "Stop, you're hurting me."

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What did the big traffic light say to the little traffic light? It didnt it's a traffic light.

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What do you get when you cross a bus full of cancer patients and a train full of children? A very sad train accident.

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How do you kill a blonde? Kick her off a cliff.

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Bigfoot, Santa, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde all jump off of a cliff. They all reach terminal velocity and at impact at the same time. However, no one really cares.

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What did the chair say to the guy? Nothing, as it is a chair and chairs can't talk

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the more I study the more I know, the more I know the more I forget, the more I forget the less I know, why study?

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you cant spell slaughter withought laughter

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It depends on the person. To generalize and select one sport to represent the entire race would be stereotyping.

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Why is Timmy a dumbass ? He's not, because asses cannot, by definition, be intelligent, so it is unnecessary to qualify it as "dumb".

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Ask me if I'mm a candy cane. Shutup, there are a lot of these types of jokes. Create your own you poophead.

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll tootsie pop?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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