Why did the two black men break into a bank with guns? It was being robbed by a white man and they were police officers.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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This night was a stormy one, alot was destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could blind some. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for their lives, all but Jonny. He was bullied from a young age of 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Ribena and his lucky medal and took his first step outside. He took out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled it up, slightly spraying fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and shouted, "Nothing will stop me!". Jonny died shortly after of AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 5 years in a high security prison for child molestation and consistant child abuse and paedophillia. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

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What is the difference between a ginger and a pile of bricks? nothing. nothing at all.

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Hillo, its Spodermen, teiling u i fuked ur bich.

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Q:Whats worse then hard nipples A:The holocaust

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Yo momma is so stupid that she walked off a cliff.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown suit.

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You know what is funnier than 24???? I don't know that's why I was asking

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Q: what's wrong with this sentence? My dogs is running in the garden A: I don't have a garden

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Q- what's the difference between a trampoline and a baby? A- you take of your shoes to jump on a trampoline

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Why didn't the TV turn on? Nobody switched it on.

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a fat kid walked up to me today at school and claimed he could do more pull ups than i. i found this very funny because i have known this boy since i was two months old, and he witnessed the day where i lost both of my arms to cancer.

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Why did Rainey fall off the swing? She had no hair.

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What drops its lunch every day? Yo mom

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What did Michelle Obama get for Christmas? Cancer

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Life gave me limes. Now how am I suppose to make lemonade

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Q: What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A: "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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A pig walks into a bar and says, "Oink."

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A polar bear and a seal are sitting on an ice floe. The polar bear looks at the seal and says, "RAWRRRRRRRRRGGG" and then kills and eats him.

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why did the students in 7/8 red try to commit suicide? they had miss harding as a teacher!

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Q: what's worse then stubing yout toe? A: getting raped by godzilla

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What is the sound of one hand clapping? I don't know you have a hand try it yourself lazy prick.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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