Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? Because she was blind.

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Q: How long does it take to dig to China? A: 5 mins. I hire a bunch of mexicans

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: He had no arms Q: Why did the frog fall out of the tree? A: He was stapled to the monkey's face

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A man is walking in the desert, alone and lost, when suddenly he finds a lamp. The man picks up the lamp and to his surprise, a genie bursts out of the lamp ! The genie says to the man: "Thank you, kind man! You have freed me from this prison I have been in for a million years. I am in your dept and will grant you three wishes." The man replies: "Wow, you've been in there for a million years and all you have to give me are three wishes?" The genie was really sad to hear of the man's lack of appreciation and flew away, leaving the man. The man eventually died of starvation and dehydration.

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What did the red-haired barber say to the father who abandoned him at birth? Nothing. The father sat to the side and read a magazine as the barber cut the hair of his legitimate child, failing to recognize the irony of the situation.

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One day Rebecca Black was driving down the street in a brand new convertible Luckily a policeman pulled her over after observing that she was far too young to be driving a car. Underage driving is a serious offense and should not be endorsed in music videos.

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My favorite color is Ham. And I can count to Potato.

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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What do cookies and Ruber have in common? Ones edible one is not

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Your mom is so fat her daily calorie intake is dangerously above the recommended 2000 per day.

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What do you do when a burglar breaks into your house and tries to kill and rape you and you family? Nothing, he as an AK-47 and shoots you all dead and then has sex with your corpses.

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, your son just died of terroristic bombing.

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A: Knock Knock B: 7

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wat do u call a person who is ugly ugly

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A muslim guy walks into a bar and orders a water as he isnt allowed to drink alcohol

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? ...because chickens love to confound people.

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Whats green and has white spots? Idk im asking you

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The 13 year old tied up in my basement.

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A man goes to the potty.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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