what happened to the man who is standing in the rain? he got wet

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Why did the chicken cross the road?? Blue.

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Why wouldn't Michael J. Fox make a good Sniper? Because he has no military experience.

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A man with Tourette's syndrome walks into a bar. Because of his disease, he shouts unexpected profanities across the room, and everybody in the bar bursts into laughter. The man cannot handle the humiliation anymore and goes home. He opens a drawer in his bedroom, pulls out a gun, and points it at his head. His wife walks in on him about to commit suicide. She is horrified. He then looks at her and then down, and he notices his one and only daughter by the age of 7 is by her side. The man ponders his reckless decision he was about to make. Moments later he and his family are holding one another sobbing in each others arms. A few days later the man goes back to the bar and shoots everybody there. Shocked and afraid, he curled up into a ball and regretted his decision. An hour later the police arrived and he was sentenced to life in prison for 3rd degree murder. His wife moved on and started a new family with his former best friend, and his daughter vists him every first tuesday of every other month. The man still suffers from Tourette's and cannot control his ticks and rots in jail. He continues to scream random obscenities for the rest of his life with no parole.

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Dig a big hole in your front yard and wait next to it so when people walk by they'll ask "Why is there a hole in your front yard?" to whcih you will reply "I don't know. Do you wanna play Monopoly?"

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alert("Hello");

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Friends are like balloons.. If you stab them they die.

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How do you teach another person's son to ride a bike? You don't. Let his real parents teach him to ride a bike.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Joe Bereta is a member of al Qaeda.

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How do you find out the population of Mexico? The census.

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What smells like smoke, sounds like a pig, and looks like a horse? My mom's boyfriend

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Why did Susie drop her ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock-knock. Who's there? Not Susie.????

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care?

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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How do Mexicans like their eggs? It's a matter of personal opinion, of course.

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What's hard, long and screws a blond? An IQ test.

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What did the old man say? Im old

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"hey woody can i ask you a question" "sure buzz" "why is it your name is woody but they use me as a vibrator"

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow And daisies can be a wide variety of colours.

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Why couldn't the T-Rex clap his hands? He was dead.

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Whats the difference between a hundred dead babies and a Ferrari? The Ferrari isn't in my garage.

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What's worse than a joke. ONE TOLD BY FOK.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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