Why did the man cross the road? He was in a state of depression and chose to commit suicide.

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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What's the difference between a soldier and a black man? A black man lives a normal life, probably working a full time job to bring income to his family. A soldier has seen his friends killed right before his very eyes, has probably killed, and most likely has night terrors accompanied by the sounds of gunshots and grenades. He will suffer trauma up until he dies of a heart attack in his mid 80's after experiencing a terrifying flashback of life in the war.

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Why did the black man bleed to death? He was stabbed, but he bled to death because his doctor had just prescribed him some blood-thinners for his serious headaches.

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How do you hide an Elephant? You paint it's toenails pink and put it in a strawberry patch. Have you ever seen an elephant in a strawberry patch.? It must work pretty well then!!

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Why did the blonde stay in the five-star hotel? She had enough money.

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There was a black and white spotted dog named Louis. Why did they call her that? Because, that's what they named her.

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lewis=cardiac

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In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

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Who would win Coolio or Vannlia Ice? nieth because Chuck Norris did a round house kick.

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How do you make a black guy cry? You kill his family.

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whats worse than getting bit by a tick. getting bit by a deer tick that as lyme disease.

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Why do Vampires drink your blood? Because the movie maker needed a story

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Why did the little boy fall down the stairs? I pushed 'em.

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The asian parent's look at their child and say in an angry voice. "Y U NO DOCTOR." The kid was amazed how uneducated they were in english after living in america for 10 years.

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What do you call an overly-sexual, chewbacca-like creature that smokes cocaine and shoots heroin, while beating its offspring? Mom.

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Shut up max im not fucking demented u dickhead

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how do you confuse a blonde? ask if she wants a cake...then rape her

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What was the fly doing in the soup? Nothing, the guy ordered pizza.

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What did the black guy say to the white guy? What did the black guy say o the white guy

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How do you drown in a tea cup? You find a big enough tea cup.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because his village has been ravaged by small pox.

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Why did Princess Diana cross the road? Because she wasnt wearing a seat belt.

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Everyone text/call Mrs. Butt Hemingworth for a free pint of her delicious marmalade! Serious inquirers only. 832 704 1331

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops