What do you call an office worker with no arms or legs? A paraplegic.

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I man walks into a bar. He drinks four beers, gives the bartender his keys, and takes a cab home. The next day he gets his best friend to drop him off at the bar, picks up his car, and is three minutes early to work.

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What's the best way to toss a salad? With a salad spinner from the home shopping network.

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What do you call a woman with one leg shorter than the other? Whatever her name is.

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Why don't bats have penises? They do. I tried. Menstruation.

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this is an anti joke so it has no punch line :D

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Q: Whats the first thing you see when you wake up? A: I don't know.

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Why did the car catch fire? It was parked in Ferguson, MO

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Why is Texas so hot? The sun

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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why do leprecon's laugh when they run through the grass? because it tickel's their balls

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What do you do when a black person steals your computer Inform the authorities, as theft is a felony.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Many different things are black, white, and red; to list just one would be an unfair judgment of things containing these three colors.

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What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench Men enjoying a day in the park

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How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

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Whats white and sticky? Marshmellows

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What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Mine.

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Why can't the black guy read? Because he's blind.

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every time I stay in the water too long my pp gets all shriverly sometimes can't find it omg that's so weird

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What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas?? -nothing, he didn't make it that far

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who? Doctor Watson - I'm here to see your little sister who is currently terminally ill and every second is of vital importance. Therefore this exchange of words is only worsening the already terrible situation that we find ourselves in. Please open the door.

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My wife is going to the Caribbean Jamaica? No, St Lucia

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There was a blonde driving a car but she was late to a meeting so she started speeding but then a police officer pulls her over. The officer asked the blonde "Do you know how fast you were going?" to which the blonde responded "Yes, I am late to a meeting" so the police gives a ticket for speeding and she ends up going late to her meeting.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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