Jesus: I will return. Hitler: Well I am back... Nazi as in Nazireth Bush: As I said I was elected by Gawd. Me: What? What about me? Seriously why did I put myself here? Id have three bullets with them in a room, and id still shoot you six times.

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What happens if you type "Michael Jackson" divided by "Friends" on a calculator? DIVIDE BY 0 ERROR.

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What's white and has a crusty nose? Luke Lange

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because i was on the other side and we were going to catch a movie

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Why did the chicken cr-VAGINA!!!!!!!!!!! sorry, tourettes.

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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There was a blonde, brunette, and a redhead. They are spending a relaxing afternoon together as a result of being restricted to their heavy therapeutic sessions which they are constantly in need of because all three have been diagnosed with clinic depression since everyone jokes about them so much and in conclusion, they don't see each other very often.

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Do you know what a zombie smells like? Death

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Three blind mice. See how they run. Into things.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How many Alzheimer patients does it take to make the bed? How ma......

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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Ask me if I'm a tree. Are you a tree? No.

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Why did the man start a shooting spree at walmart? Because he is mentally unstable and people at walmart make easy targets.

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A Jew walks into a shower. Gased.

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Roses are red Violets are blu Doogie is gay I have no friends

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How do you kill a blond? Shoot her in the face.

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So theres this Jew, right? He got shot to death.

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Okay.

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Why was King Triton mad at Ariel? Her grades were under the C.

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A man commands his dog to sit. However, his dog is poorly trained, so does not.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Why was the woman happy to give birth to a beautiful, healthy child? Just kidding, she had an abortion.

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the only thing i learned in geometry is when you push two circles together it makes a titty venn diagram

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops