Why did the duck cross the road? Because he was tired of the publicity his friend, the chicken was getting for crossing the road that he wanted to do it himself. Halfway across the duck was wistfully hit by a car and sadly, his story is lesser known and 99% of the people in this world really don't care about him. Thumbs up if you're that 1% that shows sympathy toward the duck.

2 * 2 * 2 * 3 * 2417

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Actually, violets are violet

Their were three business men going on a trip, they had only one bed in the hotel so they had to sleep in the same bed. The next day guy on the right said i a great handjob last night and the guy on the left said the same thing. The guy in the middle said last night i was dreaming i was skiing

A blond, burnette, and red head walk into a bar. They sit together and enjoy a few drinks while catching up on eachother's lives.

What's worse than the Holocost? Two worms in your apple.

roses are red violets are blue i take pleasure in the simple things in life as i have nothing else left to live for

How do you make a clown stop smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

Q: What did Batman say when Robin was in the Batmobile? A: Robin, get out of the Batmobile.

Two peanuts walk down the street. One was a salted.

Care to fill in some of the etc etc`s for me? Its not like we are complete strangers one to another either, you and I I mean, I feel pretty secure around you.

A guy named John wanted to finish his life. Now he is dead

Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, there is no reason for a chicken to need to cross a road.

How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

Why are all the tech support people from India? That's where the majority of call centers are located.

What happens when your dog is bad? A crying dog who has to sleep in the BACKYARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Stupid dog....

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

I like the color potato.

How many people does it take to screw in a lightbulb? most likely one unless there is physical disability that makes this person incapable of this action

Roses are red, violets are blue I've got Alzheimer's cheese on toast

What do you call a blonde driving the wrong way down the freeway? Well that depends on what her parents named her, or whether she happens to have a nickname of sorts.

What's big, red and delicious? A prune. I lied about it being big, red and delicious.

what did the blond do when her house was on fire? she called the fire department, because that would be the correct thing to do in such a situation.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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