What do you call a unicorn that is both invisible and pink? The Invisible Pink Unicorn.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

If I could slow down time I would have become a super criminal or something, no, my movements become slower also, ever heard of a game Max Payne? The character can slow down his perception of time and still aim his gun normally while he himself moving at the same speed as the rest. I well... when time seems to go slower, my thoughts do not, so yeaaah, Except my fast reactions also make me wear myself out faster to the point where I got injured a lot as a kid, like smacking my wrist against arcade games and stuff, broke my wrist, as a teen, still hurts when it rains, yeah weird but true.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did one wall say to the other wall? Nothing. Walls are inanimate objects and thus incapable of conversing with one another.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why would Bill Clinton like Jess so much? Cause he has a vagina, smells like shit, and has cankles.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the bank teller say after the man asked for a pen? Would you prefer black or blue?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a muslim in an airport? A muslim going on vacation you racist bastard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the clown's ballon animal pop? He was a victim in a drive by shooting.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What did the homosexual get for Christmas off his boyfriend? A lovely present off his loving partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

where would you find a blind man's car? exactly where he left it...

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Quinn Grifith Randel lives in Roswell, GA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -4

There were once three brothers who were traveling along a lonely, winding road at twilight. In time, the brothers reached a river too deep to wade through and too dangerous to swim across. However, these brothers were learned in the magical arts, and so they simply waved their wands and made a bridge appear across the treacherous water. They were halfway across it when they found their path blocked by a hooded figure. This hooded figure then proceeded to step out of the shadows and mug them, all three of them were brutally murdered. This is why you stay away from hooded figures when you are being talked about in a story being told in third person.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there Boo Boo who Boo I'm a ghost atleast act scared

thumb_up thumb_down -4

how do you make a plumber cry? pull up his pants....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Word Problem Q.John has 32 candy bars. He eats twenty eight of them. What does he have now? A. Diabetes. John has Diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why can't black guys eat babby back ribs... Beacause They are black too

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the boy fail his final? His severe depression and progressive detachment from reality caused him to hang himself the night before

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Your mom is so fat that she sat on a rock.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What has two legs and is red all over? Half a cat.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a bunch of black people in a pool cocoa puffs

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if im a tree. Are you a tree? No

thumb_up thumb_down -4

You know what's funny? You can't spell manslaughter without laughter.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops