A man walks into an insane asylum and says hello-The inmates assault him with mindless babble. A man walks into an insane asylum and says argblthenthrozaphowea-The inmates say hello.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a store and asks the clerk, "do you have any grapes?" The clerk says no, and the duck leaves. The next day, the same duck walks back into the store, and asks the clerk if they have any grapes. The clerk, slightly annoyed, says no again, and the duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back in and asks again if they have any grapes. The pissed off clerk says, "No, and if you ask again i'm gonna nail your feet to the floor. The duck leaves. The next day, the duck walks back into the store, and this time he asks the clerk, "do you have any nails?" The clerk says, "Yes." The Duck leaves.

thumb_up thumb_down

A man walked into a bar. Ouch! He stepped on a piece of a shattered bottle from a bar fight. Don't worry, though, it was just a little cut and he felt fine after a few beers.

thumb_up thumb_down

Person A: Knock Knock Person B: Who's there? Person A: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest. Open the door. Person B: It's the police, we have a warrant for your arrest, open the door wh-- Suddenly the door is smashed open. Tear gas grenades are rolled in, temporarily blinding Person B. He is then dragged out of his apartment by nine federal agents who proceed to beat him and throw him into the back of an FBI van.

thumb_up thumb_down

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the pirate say when his parrot died? Nothing. He was upset and didn't really feel like talking.

thumb_up thumb_down

roses ar red violets ar blue i have aids

thumb_up thumb_down

The first cow: are you worried about mad cow disease? the second cow: no, im a helicopter

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the difference between Jason Voorhees and Michael Myers? One's name is Jason, and the other's name is Michael.

thumb_up thumb_down

what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did Lou Gehrig die from? ALS

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are black Violets are black I would love to see A knife in ur back

thumb_up thumb_down

roses are red violets are blue my name is kate boyd im gay

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the kid running around? He was on fire

thumb_up thumb_down

If I told you I was straight I'd be lying

thumb_up thumb_down

What is the color of your spleen? I dont know i'm not a doctor

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a man with a spade in his head? A: An ambulance.

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: What do you call a dog driving a car? A: A dog driving a car.

thumb_up thumb_down

What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

thumb_up thumb_down

What did the doctor say to the lawyer? Nothing. They weren't even together. He was in the hospital saving people and the lawyer was in his office working on a case.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down

How do you offend a black person? Call him a nigger.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops