what would happen if you took all the veins out of your body and laid them out tip to tip? you die

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A Blonde, Brunnette, and red head are on the beach. They find a sand gene and are each granted a wish. The Brunnette wishes for a yot. The Red Head wishes to never again get sun burn. The Blonde wishes for more sun. The world is overtaken and insinerated by the sun. An alien spaceship finds the Red head in a space suit floating around randomly when they ask how she survived she says "I don't sun burn"

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Nineteen terrorists walk into three airports. Several hours later, thousands of people are dead sending the world into a state of emergency that subsequently changed how we live our current lives under the constant threat of both government oppression and extremist terrorism.

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What did the blonde do when she reached the traffic lights? She stopped, as the lights were red.

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What's smelly and Dirty? Someone who hasn't shower in a reasonably long time.

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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A man takes his girlfriend ice skating on a lake. As they are ice skating she says "we should go back home and fu..." At this point they fall through a thin spot on the ice and they both drown in the lake. Fish ate their dead bodies

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Q: What's blue and smells like grass? A: Blue grass.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? Blind.

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laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer, then you will die.

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a mustang? I don't have a mustang in my garage..

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was trying to escape the evil villains in giant mech suits.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Most poems rhyme But this one doesnt

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how do you see the difference between a ceiling and a floor? people dont walk on a ceiling

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What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

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Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

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Parents who drive with children on their lap should be wrapped with a huge diapper

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You know what happens when you assume? You make a judgment based on incomplete information.

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What's worse the a bee sting? Two bees stings What's worse the two bee stings? The Holocaust What's worse the. The Holocaust? Three bee stings

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A blind man walks into a deaf woman. He tries to apologize but she can't hear him.

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What do the world and jelly beans have in common? Nothing.

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waist down and had no way of feeling

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm using my hand but thinking of you.

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A scantily dressed woman is standing at an intersection. She is a prostitute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops