Why did the boy drop his ice cream? I shot him in the face.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What did the twin towers order from the pizzeria? Two large Plane

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, I've got a shotgun, Give me the money.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Why did the hobo break both of his arms? He didn't like them.

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What do you call a Muslim flying an airplane? A pilot, what did you think it was? F**king Racist dumbass

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Starving.

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Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, Ten green bottles hanging on the wall, And if one alcoholic should one day stroll along: There'll be no more bottles hanging on the wall.

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Who visits Satan on Christmas? A dyslexic box.

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Howmany licks does it take till you get to the tootsie roll center of tootsie pop? Well, The answer is not constant. There are many variables that need to be taken into account. Though the ph level of human saliva is a neutral seven it can vary about 2 tenths of a point from person to person. This is a factor that needs to be considered along with the size of the tongue, roughness of the tongue, and at what speed the licking is taking place at. After taking all these variables into consideration, the average number of licks it would take untill the chocolate center of a tootsie pop is approximately, 3 .

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Why did Steven Hawking walk into a bar? He didn't he can't walk

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Why did the school fall? Because a hurricane hit.

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How do you call a black person in KFC? By a Phone.

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even a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then. but has a high probability of getting hit by a car and slowly dying from crushed limbs

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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What did one muffin say to the other? I'm baked... just kidding muffins are food and therefore can not speak

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Which way do 4 gay guys walk South then past the milkbar then around the corner

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A black man and a white man were in a fight. Who won? I don't know. It was pay-per view and I didn't buy it.

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Q: How many licks does it take to the center of a tootsie pop? A: At least one.

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Why did the wheel fall of the car?? Cause you can't fit 10 pancakes inside of a doghouse.

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What did the duck say when it saw a puddle? Nothing.Ducks are uncapable of speaking human speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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