Why did John McCain lose the election? He did not get as many votes as Barack Obama.

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

What's white and can't jump? A fridge.

What did Yoda say to Darth Vader? The only time the two had talked Darth Vader was still Anakin therefor, he said nothing.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What do you call a black man wearing tights? Rick

How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

What's the funniest thing about this website? Everyone thinks their fucking hilarious because they keep making jokes about Sally who has no goddamn arms and little kids with terminal cancer

Why did the boy kill his parents? Because he doesn't understand this joke either

why was the boy crying over his dog, his cat, and his bird? Cuz i raped them Wat about his pet hamster? I threw it at a wall

Your momas so fat her doctor put her on a diet plan.

Why did the boy drop his peanuts and crackerjacks? He had a sudden heart attack and died at the age of 10

Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

What did the deaf girl get for Christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish

What do two Jews have in common? They both practice the same religion.

Suicide Johnny and the Go Kill Yourselves

the next time someone says "yolo" im going to pull out my shotgun and reply "sadly..."

How about that airplane food? Ive never been on a plane you tell me

What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

Q: Why did the irishman walk into the bar A: Because he wanted a drink

What did the blonde say to the other blonde? "Hey, do you want to get something to eat?"

sweating like antoni with a girl

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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