Sir, your wife is dead

What has hands but can't clap? - A Quadraplegic

What caused the man to become blind? He took an arrow to the knee.

Call me for a good time! 402-805-2412, I do anal!;) -Martini Wyant

The early bird gets the worm, but the angry bird gets the pig.

What do you call a man with no arms or legs skiing? Skip.

Why did the chick cross the road? Because she's a gold digger homie, dat chick is greedy like a mofo. She be all up in your grill and sheit tryin' getchu to spend your money lik dat homie ditch dat hoe, she aint even worth it brotha.

Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

How do you keep someone in suspense? Refuse to let them view the resolultion of a gripping film.

Knock knock. Who's there? Navy Seals. *BOOM* *waiting* "Yeah, he's dead." -Navy Seals

What did the talking muffin say to the other talking muffin? Ah! A talking muffin!

Is a tomato a vegetable? Depends if it is comatose.

Once there was Girl whose Teeth were Crooked. She got Braces.

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Your mom is so dumb that she had a below average score on her IQ test.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Why don't you ask the chicken. I am sorry but I as a human being am totally incapable of understanding and communicating with chickens.

Why did the Italian family have spaghetti for dinner? Thats the only thing they had in the house

-Whats this? -Anti-Jokes.. -Theyre not funny

Why was the white man's baby black? The mother was black.

a black guy walks into a park with a group of five other black guys. they then proceed to have a nice picnik and play frisbee with a little white boy.

Why did the bud driver drop his ice cream? Because he hit a boy.

wow i bet grass is lucky on st patricks day. why? becuase its green all year. *smacks* ow. i kno. but hey im corn.

What did the black guy, the Mexican guy, and the Chinese guy have for lunch? A sandwich

What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a bottom-feeding scum sucker, and the other is an advisor who assists people by representing them on legal matters.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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