How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +10

If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you know Helen Keller had a swingset? Neither did she.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red Violets are blue Daises are yellow Azeleas are pinkish purple

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a man named Cornelius? Well, he prefers to go by his middle name, Eric, because he was teased as a child for being named Cornelius.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the little girl with no arms an legs cry? Because she fell off the swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

So a blonde walks into a wall...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What was so funny about my sister getting raped? Nothing, there's never anything funny about someone getting raped, especially when it is a close friend or family member

thumb_up thumb_down +10

what did the little girl with cancer get for christmas? cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

"I see," said the deaf man, to the blind man, who had no ears.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house. "Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "The chicken"

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What is a light shade of beige? My bedroom wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Johnny had 100 chocolate bars. He ate 95 and gave 3 to his friend. What does Johnny have now? Diabetes

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Knock knock. Who's there? No one, because your house burned down.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the woman have no boobs? Breast cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What are blacks scared of? The kkk

thumb_up thumb_down +10

knock knock whos there guy with a gun guy with a gun who guy with a gun who just shot you dammit

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +10

(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Did you hear about the peanut that was assaulted? He filed a police report weeks ago and is upset by the sluggish nature of the justice system.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops