What do you get when you cross a moose with a crépe? A moose with a crépe up his nose. -ilikecrepes97

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don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!don't repeat this joke!

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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why couldnt hellen keller drive a car? because she was a woman

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Roses are blurry so is everything else I need glasses

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What is the difference between tea pot and shinkansen? shinkansen is very quick train and tea pot is traditional piece of dishes..

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Why was young Timmy Crying? Unfortunately he had a very rare but serious heart condition and he would probably die within a week.

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Why did Susie fall of the swing? She had no arms. Why didn't she catch herself? She had no legs. What did she get for Christmas? Cancer. What did she get for her birthday? Nothing, she died.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Drown it in vinegar.

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What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon? Nothing. He's dead.

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If Johnny has 4 dollars and Clarissa has 7 dollars, how many dollars do they have all together? 11 dollars Knock knock Who's There? Johnny Johnny who? Johnny and Clarrisa, all together we have 11 dollars.

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The camp counselor woke me up, and said that it was going to be a long week. I didn't worry though, since all weeks are 7 days long.

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What is the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when it goes into the oven.

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what did spiderman say before he saved mary jane? ill save you mary jane.

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Why Did The Black Man Cry? KFC Went Bankrupt!

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Now this bible thing, is a real anti joke so get ready to have your faith tested, and overcome it: There was that story where God charged against an army at the top of some mountains, the army is told to have been led with God personally at the front rank right? But they lost because the enemy had horse wagons (you know what I mean) made of steel or iron, (does not matter what it is if you ask yourself really) I mean even if it was Metatron, he would have had uh... Wings or something to even the odds, Maybe God is like Raiden from Mortal Kombat, he needs to become a Mortal in order to enter fights on earth... MORTAL KOMBAAAT! I mean God made humans humans made Sin (gotta say we get the blame for a lot of shit others did, I hate apples and cant even stand the smell of them for once, never ate one)

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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so 3 guys are a plane George W. Bush, a mexican, and a chinese man. the plane is going down because of too much weight they haave to throw things out. The mexcan throws out a suitcase full of tacos and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then the chinese throws out a suitcase full of rice and says "we have enough of this in out country" Then George W. Bush pushes the mexican out and says "we have to enough of these in out country."

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In mediavel times :A Jew rapes his mom.... He is promptly taken out of society and thrown into a lions den due to his act of imortality.

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What's for dinner tonight? Your mom's vagina.

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How do you make a Hispanic man sad? Answer: steal everything he has until he has nothing

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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