i like my woman how i like my coffe... without d i c k s

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whats similar between a eagle and a armidillo? they both can fly. apart from the armidillo.

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How is a frog similar to a corn dog? They both have really long tongues, except for the corn dog

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what's the difference between Michael Jackson and Acne? Acne is a skin problem caused by chemical imbalance usually found in teenagers. Michael Jackson was a singer and dancer who should've been able to escape tasteless jokes upon his death.

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Knock Knock Who's there A serial rapist

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing, he died.

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Whats worse than getting a papercut on the side of your finger? Being shotgunned in the ass

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Why did Steve Jobs step down as CEO of Apple? Because he died.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

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Knock knock... Knock knock... Knock knock... Unfortunately, nobody was home to sign for Marks parcel.

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Q. Whats the diffrence between a squirl and a chipmunk? A. A squirl has a squirl mom and a squirl dad while a chipmunk has a chipmunk mom and a chipmunk dad.

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Roses are red, ill give you a wink, two in the pink, and one in the stink.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Your Mom

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There are two types of people in this world, those that can extrapolate from incomplete data

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Ethan's girlfriend is a salg hahahahahahahahahahahaha fucking meff she needs to die

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What does the gay man do while he is taking a shower with many other men in a prison or a gym? Lathers soap all over his body to clean himself so he is not smelly.

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Want to here a joke? Me to...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why are you worrying about the chicken? You just got shot.

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Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

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Charlie, Charlie the drunk guinea pig! OUR BEST FRIEND!!! Angel Charlie: I'm already dead yah poof!!! Butt cancer killed me.....

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What did the ocean say to the shore? Nothing, water and sand are incapable of speech. Unless of course you are Harry Potter in which case you can cast a spell on them and turn them into a cat which still couldn't talk and them from there you could wait for them to evolve which doesn't actually exist so you would have to ask God and then you would wait for a few years than they could say hi.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops