How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Why didn't George Washington get his drivers license? Cars were yet to be invented.

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What's brown and Rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

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Q. Why did the television set turn on? A. Because someone pressed the power button.

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Nero, I am happy to hear from you again, but it kinda sounds like you are going to get yourself killed or something. Is there something else I can do? If that asshole is suffering, kill him after he is done doing it, I am done with that piece of shit. Honestly, what is going on Nero? You are not going to suicide or something are you? Please respond, right away, or I wont call your wife.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading the dumbass things that people come up with as an answer.

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What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't the farmer shot him before he could have a chance at freedom.

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? Its babies were being mauled by a cat.

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A friend? Just a friend that you told to stop pretending to be me? And you had no idea whatsoever that I am Nero as in not one of the six hundred thousand wabbabes?

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What does a blonde say when she wants to order a large pizza ? "Hi, I would like a large pizza, please."

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whate white and cant climb trees? powdered sugar

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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Adam is gay tom is here that's nice

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Why is my phone bill so low this month? Because you have no friends.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

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How many easily offended people does it take to change a light bulb? Shut up, that's not funny!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock knock. I've got a gun. Knock kn [*BANG!*] [L]

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I once heard a funny joke, it was as funny as a funeral

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What do you call a cat with no ears? Anything you fucking well like. Cats can't understand speech.

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What's red,little and its in the corner??? --- Strawberry in the corner

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What do you call a tall midget? Well tall is a relative term so a midget may be considered tall compared to something or someone shorter. Say if a midget was compared to a baby he/she would be considered tall, considering the baby's small height. However midgets are looked at short by most people who are taller than them because of their physical problem that they can do nothing about.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops