A pengiuin walked into a bar. Just kidding, it waddled at an increasingly fast rate.

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A duck walks into the bar, buys a beer, steals your woman, wins a bar fight, pistol whips a police officer, departs and shouts Aflac

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What is exceptionally dangerous? Shaving while taking a bath, because the risk of electrocution is extremely high.

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Knock Knock... Who's there? The FBI, you're going to jail. Really? No.

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hey I just met you and this is crazy but get in my van

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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A drum and a cymbal fall off a cliff...

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What's even better than finding 10 bucks in your pocket? Getting into heaven.

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What do you call two gay guys? People who should be living in California.

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why did the skeleton drop his juice? Because he has no stomach LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLO

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Know what's worst than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Obama

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Nock nock Who's there K K who? You forgot the K

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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What did spongebob say to patrick? Im ready! im ready!

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Knock knock Who's there? Benjamin Benjamin who? Benjamin Dover Ben! I'm so glad you're home the kids have missed you so much!

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Why did Marilyn Manson surgically remove 2 ribs from his body? To suck his own penis.

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Llamaworm

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Whats the difference between a muslim and a christian? They believe in different things.

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Q. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A. Because she had no arms Q. What smells like red paint and is blue? A. Blue Paint Knock Knock? Who's There NOT SALLY

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What did the black man say to the Hispanic? Lovely weather we're having.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got ran over by a car.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops