- Anti Joke

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a pressure-sensitive explosive device.

what did the boy say when his friend was having a panic attack? "don't panic!" rather earnestly in the hope that his friend's breathing returned to normal as panic attacks can be very uncomfortable and place too great a strain upon the cardio and respiratory functions.

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

A black guy and a mexican get into a car Who is driving? Whoever takes a seat in the drivers side of the car

your mom is so nasty that when she took a shower and acquired general etiquette, she became possibly more respectable

knock knock who's there? ketchup ketchup who? better catchup with me!

people can be soooo loud!!!!!!! sooo loud that they wake up helen keller!!!!!!

Stop Spam Read Books

What's the difference between the NBA and the WNBA? What's the WNBA?

696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969696969669696969696969696969696969696969696969696696969696969696969696969696969696969696966969696969696969696969696969696969

How do I want to die? From Chuck Norris killing me, that would be an honor.

how did the blonde get a concussion? she didnt see the pole in front of her.

what happend when the AntiJoke Crossed the road? It pooped in the ... HIT BY A REFRIGERATOR.

why couldnt hellen keller drive? she was a woman.

A retarded man speaks jibberish, because he is retarded

What's black and white and red all over? An interracial couple that has just been brutally murdered. If you see this, you should probably notify the local police so that they may investigate the situiation.

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

A man walks into his doctor's office He says: ''Doctor, I have said goodbeye to my family and friends and I have decided to take the pills you offered me and die peacefully in my sleep, I won't suffer any longer from my disease''. The doctor answers: ''You are in luck, we still have a few of them left''

Whats funnier than throwing a baby off the top of a building? The sound it makes when it hits the ground.

What did the man do after he got in his car with out his keys? He started it up and drove Away

speacking of cheese... steve jobs died

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

so a piece of grass is walking down the street..... wait a minute thats not right.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

Want more? You might be interested in...

Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops