A seal walks into a club.

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Why did the black man get a welfare check? Because he was either unemployed and decided he wanted someone to keep feeding his family, or decided to push forth the unfortunate stereotype of African-Americans not wanting to work and being lazy. Or maybe he didn't, why don't you ask him?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn't. He was butchered on the farm for chicken fingers.

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Did you hear the one about the deaf guy and the rhinoceros? Neither did he.

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I have sexdaily. Sorry I mean dyslexia.

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No, Sarah. You know your hooks scratch the keys.

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What happened to the convict on death row? He died

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Knock, knock No, I do not want to hear about God.

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Excuses are like assholes: Gay men like to have sex with them.

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matt has ebola...funny right!?

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whats black and yellow a chinese with a bruise

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Yo momma so fat, when she sits on a rainbow nothing happens, as rainbows are merely rays of light refracted off of water particles in the air, apparent to humans only on a visible spectrum.

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I'm not saying your mom's ugly, but I like pancakes.

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There are two men on a dock. The first man says, "What's your name?" The second man says, "GET OFF!" because he has turrets.

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What did chad do when he found the grape? He ate it.

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KARMA KARMA KARMA KARMA CHAMELEON

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How did Bill Framex die? He didn't because he isn't real.

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Do u take sugar?

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timmy has no arms knock knock whos there? NOT TIMMY!!!

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? Politely say "Hey you, get out of the tree."

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Why from a friends phone? I demand a full explanation, here, you got my number, you got my home address, and who the hell was that crying little bitch on the phone? I got friends in the UK which owe me some money, and nothing to lose, if I have to take care of you before you take care of me and even possibly my wife in the crossfire, I will take you down and everything in my path! Moral: Got ya!.

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what is red and lies on the floor? the boy that jumped out of the plane

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black I am blind

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops