What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was hit by a fridge. Why did Sally fall off her bike? She was hit by a falling monkey and fridge.

Why Was the straight man in love ? because he was an intelligent human being who had the formula of understanding woman .

What's the difference between a lamp?

Two men were standing on the 34th floor of a 65 floor building. They were trapped in a office with one window. here is their conversation: guy1: oh no what should we do??? guy2: I don't know!! this is awful!!! guy1: I have children and a loving wife!!! guy2 walks to the window sill and leans over. guy1: what are you doing? there is more to life we can get through this!! guy 2 jumps out the window guy 1 runs to the window sticks his head out and yells "MAKE MINE CHOCOLATE!!!"

A group of 8 paintbal professionals land on an island to battle another paintball team. The team is then faced by a challeng of the other team ambushing them. Everyone is okay and not touched. A case breaks the window of the bus they hide in. They open the case and find a bullet proof vest. A man placed the vest on himself. They made it one by one out of the bus and to the otherside of the field the man with the vest was shot and started going... eghegeheghdjrhherbehgh and they pulled out a real gun bulet. They were now under attack by an enemy with real amunation. Then next man to run across the fied was killed. Tehy ran fr their lives.

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

whitney housten was supposed to sing at my funeral... but i dont think thats gonna happen. ;(

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

Why aren't there any black flesh-colored bandages? Good question.

Why are chaos theorists so predictable? Because their arguments usually follow a logical set of points.

Why did little nancy call the police? Because her dad beats her toaster up.

An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

What do you get when you cross 3 men and a chainsaw? Answer: 2 and a half men

whats better than a girl getting hit by a car? a girl getting hit by a car with my dick in her

How do you make a plumer sad? You kill his children.

What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.

How do you make an emo kid cry? He already is.

How did the blonde trip the brunette? She stuck out her foot

Why couldn't the black man be an astronaut? He was not qualified for the Job

What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

Why did the atheist start snoring in his sleep? He has a naturally small airway and fairly large tonsils.

Poems are great but sometimes they don't make refridgerater

What's blue and can't read? The Pacific Ocean

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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