What happen when a penguin walks into a bar? That is an almost impossible occasion. Penguins first of all waddle not walk and they only live in Antarctica and zoos, therefor they will not be able to enter one unless Antarctica becomes populated.

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Turn your Caps Lock off, people think you're yelling at them, Stephen Hawking.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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A white person went to see Think like a Lady by Steve Harvey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, I was asking you.

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sorry about this, my enter key is stuck down... Really sorry guys. Nearly fixed it. Look I said I was sorry! All fixed :~D

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What's the difference between a horse and a chicken? They're different species and also the chicken is female, while the horse I was referring to is male.

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A young man was lost wandering in a field, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by a scary southern man with a shotgun in hands. "I'm lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will shoot you with this shotgun." He couldn't have sex with the daughter anyway because he has severe erectile dysfunction.

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whats black and hangs from my tree a plum

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What did the straw say to the other straw? We are both straws just kidding they cant talk

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a man rides on his horse to rohde island and back. he rode on Friday and returned on Friday. damn, that's one fat horse

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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What has many legs, but can't walk? A dead spider.

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What do you call a three-legged cheetah? Crippled.

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Roses are red Violets are fine I'll be the 6 You be the 9

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Two elephants were out flying. Then one elephant said to the other: My grandmother has a pink toothbrush!

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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"Have you ever seen Stevie Wonder's parents?" "No" "Neither has he"

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once upon a time there was a cripple little girls who lived in an orfanage were she got raped then beat .

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Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

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How are a black man and a banana similar? They are both intelligent human beings, except for the banana.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike.

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A woman walks into a bar. Guys aren't the only ones walking into bars.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops