What do you do if you run over a black man? Call an ambulance... he's probably about to die.

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What did the atheist say as Jesus walked past? nothing, he ran to the nearest bar and called the insane asylum.

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? Because he has no arms.

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How can you tell if your blind date is going to be good looking? Go on the date and see if they're good looking.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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Who ever invented the "Knock- Knock jokes" should get a "No-bell prize"

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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I saw a shooting star. It shot me.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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