Q.why'd the monkey fall out of the tree A. because he was dead.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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Do you know what hurts? An abortion.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Ashton Kutcher meets a fine cougar at a bar and the cougar fatally wounded his throat.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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a gay man walks into a bar. he is promptly escorted out for trying to seduce men.

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What do you get when you eat a bag of potatoes? The're all gone.

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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Knock Knock Who's there? The IRS. You've been convicted of tax evasion.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Why did the man get a DUI? Because he was driving under the influence.

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A man died. What was his name? Phil. His name was Phil.

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Why did the boy die? He got shot in the face repeatedly.

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Goodbye to the people who hated on me.

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How do you steal candy from a baby? You ask nicely.

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Knock knock: Who's there: Woo: Woo Who: I knew you'd be glad to see me.

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Why did the weiner dog have a bad childhood? Uncle Monty put his foot up its arse on a daily basis before chewing dorris's nose, ears and eyelids.

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What did the tramp get for Christmas? Nothing because he's Jewish.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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